There is no force in the heavens, on the earth or beneath that can stop a person from knowing God who has set his heart completely and totally aside to loving Him.

It is better to be loved than to be great. I wish to be loved.

These are the pages of my journal that I haven't written...

We got an email this weekend that one of the kids we saw while in Haiti died yesterday. She was scheduled to come to the states on Wednesday for surgery to have a defect in her heart repaired. She was an incredible child full of personality who touched a lot of people in her short life of perhaps two years.

In thinking about it I think the reason I go to Haiti over Christmas is I have the chance to see Jesus. He is not exactly how I imagined Him, but God usually isn't. I see this humble King in the smile of a kid with a severe handicap, in the laugh of a mother who will in a weeks time loose her daughter, in the tear stained faces of those who are so hungry their bellies are swollen, and I see Him in the dusty feet of those who walk the world not defining their joy by their circumstances.

Haiti is simply a place to see Jesus in a little less of a fog than I see Him here. Haiti is anywhere you can go to meet this Suffereing Servant. We claim to know this Jesus, but I think maybe along the road our picture of who we thought Him to be was a little off. Read Luke 24:13-32

I want to know Jesus. I need Him. I really need Him. It seems to me that perhaps He is still walking the Earth today calling on people to follow Him. I wonder if I really think it is worth it to follow, or if I want to stay and bury my dead and tell others goodbye before I can follow Him.

My New Year resolution is to tell the truth regardless. I think more than anything I will have to be honest with myself. Being honest with other people, that's not the hard part. It's myself I don't want to be honest with. It hurts too much.