Ok so the countdown is on I suppose. For those who have been asking, I have 100 more days until I leave Rescue Atlanta. Where I go and what I do shall be seen later. It's going to be a wild summer, but good.

Here is a question for you to think about. It requires no answer here. In "christian" circles, we often associate repentance with salvation, and repentance being not an everyday thing. Could it be possible that we should live a life of repentance, that everyday is one to examine ourselves and turn to the living God from ourselves?

The parentals came up to visit this weekend. They are headed off to Colorado for 3 months, with a brief stop in Texas to see my Grandpa. We had a good time. Thursday we went computer shopping and got them a laptop. Friday night my dad and I went to a Braves game with some other people. It was kind of chilly for May. All in all it was a good weekend.

I've been a bit stressed lately. Mostly I think I am tired, but it's all part of it. I stopped answering my phone this weekend. Well, mostly I had too much going on and the people who kept calling I couldn't really talk to, and the people I did talk to I probably made mad .

This weekend I am taking Marcus to the beach. He has never been. It should be a blast. I am looking forward to it. Ok peace out peoples.

There were about 6 of us that went to the midnight showing of Spiderman 3 last night. I must say the movie was a disappointment. I would not recommend it as one of the better movies to go see.  Maybe I am just too critical. I will say that it did evoke some thought as to friendship, and the value of coming together no matter what has been between you.

"Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is." 1John 3:1

This verse brings me comfort, for when I am reminded of all my selfishness, pride, shame, and guilt, I am also reminded that faith in Him is where I find grace to live; and in that grace I find that when I eventually see Him, I will too be like Him. My only confidence then, is Him.

   The nature of God is love. He loves us because of who He is. It is His nature to love us. When we become His children, we become new creations. We become alive with the "God-nature". We then likewise have the nature of love. We don't have to ask God for His love, for we have it. Rather we ask God to teach us to love out of the nature we have been given, as He loves out of His own nature.

  To say I love someone because I am supposed to, is to love with the nature of man. There is nothing wrong with this love, but it is a head love, not a heart love. It is a mental attitude that we have adopted. To love as God has told us to love is a heart love, and can only be done by those who are born from above.

Someone told me today that they had to do what was right so they would be pleasing to God and I took to issue against that. "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased" shows us that the only way God is pleased with us is when we are His child, if we are born above. The reminder that "Without faith it is impossible to please Him" lets us know that it is not what we do that makes God pleased with us, but it is who we are. If we are born of God, then He is pleased with us. He will always be pleased with us. There is nothing we can do to make it so that He is not pleased with us, for our faith is in His Son, and with His Son He is "well-pleased".

Now God may be pleased with what we do as His children, but what we do does not determine who we are. If God is not pleased with something we do, He is still pleased with us, because of who we are in Christ. He will never not be pleased, because of Christ. Everytime He sees His Son, He is satisfied.

There comes a time in the life of the believer when they must ask, "Have I really believed?"

I have been in somewhat of a haze lately, and I am not sure why. I know how to deal with it, I just haven't. I think about Em almost every day now, which reminds me to strive for a life that is totally dedicated to Jesus. It's funny how you don't miss people until they are gone. Sometimes I think we miss the beauty of life because all we see is the grey, but the beauty is the grey. I heard a quote the other day that I liked. When a pastor was asked his opinion of what worship was, he said "Anything that aggravates the darkness." I like that. Sure it's deeper than that, but that says it so poetically that you have to appreciate it. "Come let us reason..." seems to remind us that we are made white as snow, and though we see through this grey mist, we will one day see clearly as the sun shines upon us. For now we are where the Divine has placed us, and we are created to worship. To see the beauty not only in creation but in us all, is to take a step on the path of life as we learn to make our lives one of worship.

Have I ever mentioned I love my sisters?

Ok I am playing with the look again. What do you think? Critical feedback is accepted, along with any other feedback you may have.

"If your belief does not dictate how you live your life, then it is not a belief worth having."

I'm back in Atlanta. Made it in about 12:30.

It's been a long week, but good. I stood in line for about an hour to get into Em's memorial on Sunday, and a little over 600 people showed up to the funeral.

It is about to get insanely busy for the next 4 months. Bring it on.

I found out anyone can leave comments now, not just people with a Xanga account. That's definitely cool.

If we were created to worship, then it makes sense that we were each created with unique giftings to worship in our own way. It also makes sense that we should develop those giftings to offer worship in the way we were created to.

The power will be off here for about 6 hours today.

There's more, but I'll have to leave it at this for now....

Ok so the power will only be off to part of the building today. This gives me the ability to pretend to be productive in the office.

I had another dream last night. We were all in a marsh up to our waist or so in murky water. Green snakes that looked like garden hoses came up in balls and started attacking us. Why do I dream such things.

As I was leaving Keystone, Suzie told me to be good. I was like, "Well..." and she reaffirmed "Be good." I said I had tried that, and it didn't go so well. She responded "Be righteous."  Dang it, she got me there.

Thanks for all your prayers for Emily's family and friends. I've thought about her a lot the last week. It's still pretty surreal.

Ok I am going to mosie to the back. I just wanted to use the word mosie....